I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
