Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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