My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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