we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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