He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
