i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
