Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The struggles of a small town man whore
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
