you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
