i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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