i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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