im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize