Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
