If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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