It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
