what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
