I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize