You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
