The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
