Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
50% drunk capacity currently
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
