Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
