Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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