good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
