come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
