In the future we'll all be gay
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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