I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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