There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Terrible idea I love it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I need water and some morals
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
