I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
