I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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