Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
