hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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