sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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