i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
