do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
