you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
