At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
