While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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