I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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