Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
