pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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