i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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