he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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