Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
