Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
