so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
