That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
