I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
