Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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