She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I look excited, but its just a facade.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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