If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
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