Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
