uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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