i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
this boner is exhausting
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
