I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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