Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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