i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
