If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
