I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
