you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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