I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
