And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
