I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
