Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
