my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
