quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
