I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
